Ever since I first realised that I was a part of the transgender community it has seemed incongruous to me that our group should be included under the LGBT (LGBTQI+) umbrella. That is not to say that there aren’t valid reasons for those of us who don’t conform to societal binary “norms” to be grouped together in recognition of our shared struggle, indeed we all gain strength from our unity. But as you will see I find it leads to a lot of misrepresentation about us, our needs and our our desires.
Before I begin in earnest I’d like you to read this article as I will be referring to it during my little tirade here.
The above article is a classic example of where “transgender” is automatically, and erroneously, included in discussions about sexuality without the author giving it a second thought. Just pause a moment to look at the heading area of the article.
The article is purely discussing sexuality and yet the picture selected to head the article shows symbols for heterosexual, lesbian, gay and transgender. Nowhere, and correctly, in the article is transgender mentioned as a sexual preference, so why include the symbol?
This may seem to be nit-picking over a choice of image, but the relevance goes deeper into the way we are misrepresented and misunderstood in society.
I say again, being transgender has NOTHING to do with sexuality!
sexualitysɛkʃʊˈaləti/nouncapacity for sexual feelings.
- “she began to understand the power of her sexuality”synonyms: sensuality, sexiness, seductiveness, desirability …
- a person’s sexual orientation or preference.plural noun: sexualities“people with proscribed sexualities”synonyms: sexual orientation, orientation, sexual preference, leaning, persuasion …
- sexual activity.“sexuality within holy matrimony was only justified as a necessary part of reproduction”
As long as the transgender community is primarily identified as falling within the LGBT banner this misconception is likely to prevail.
Whilst I don’t think we should entirely disassociate ourselves from our comrades-in-arms in the LGBT+ community, I do feel it is time for us to stand more on our own two feet in order to break down this misunderstanding and spread the word more concisely.
Gender Identity is a person’s perception of having a particular gender, which may or may not correspond with their birth sex. Nothing more, nothing less.
The “sexuality”, “sexual preferences”, etc. of the individual concerned are of no relevance, and while the general public fail to understand this primary difference our progress toward greater acceptance in the community at large will forever be impaired.
The increase in general Pride events over the past few years is great to see, but within the context of this discussion it is wonderful to see events such as TransPrideScotland taking place at the end of this month, where we can stand as an independent group in our own right to further try to enhance public awareness of our unique place in society.
In light of the pain each of us who are trans go through i simply do not understand why anyone would hate us like soo many do. i wouldn’t wish this on anyone but at the same time after a lifetime of hating myself, running from me, and denying myself to make others happy, i now not only accept me but love that i am trans………………inspite of my pain.
LikeLiked by 3 people
GK, thank you so much for visiting again!
It’s wonderful to hear that you love yourself for who you truly are. When we conversed in the past it was always obvious to me that you were aching to find that acceptance.
I wish you well, as always.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I feel you here sister. I’m trans too and I’m feeling the confusion of my sexuality change from straight to gay without ever really changing my object of attraction.
Although if you think about it, there is plenty of play along the gender continuum in the gay community as well. Maybe the author of the article is falling into the old trap of equating sex and sexuality with gender?
Thank you for commenting and for the follow. 🙂
Yes, society requires us to label our sexuality too, and that does get confusing once we accept our own truths.
I wouldn’t necessarily define myself using a label anyway. I find some men attractive, I find some women attractive, but do I need a label? I think not. 🙂
Spot on Tish.
I have never felt comfortable under the acronym. This is somewhat odd as my sexual attraction is toward femininity (trans or cis) or what goes for lesbian. I feel there is only a need to state who you are attracted to and not your gender also. Like pr0m3th3us42 above in the usual scheme I would have gone from straight to gay. But, who I am attracted to has not changed.
I also think there is another aspect rarely if at all mentioned. This the kinds of sexual pleasure you enjoy being done to yourself and the kinds of sexual pleasure you enjoy providing others.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Stephie, and good point.
I know now that I’ll never receive the kind of sexual pleasure I’ve always desired and, conversely, there’s a form of sexual pleasure that I won’t get the opportunity to provide. The good thing is that my sexual desires have faded into obscurity now along with alternative career options that I may have enjoyed along the way, so there’s a degree of peace to be found in that.
Stay safe. x