Just lately it seems as if I’m at war with an unknown entity; an elusive, pervading, mischievous spirit that seems hell bent on disrupting all forms of communication.
To put it in a nutshell, I seem unable to communicate with people without accidentally insulting them or causing them some form of upset. This usually happens when my intention is to make a joke or lighten a situation, but I’m so WAY OFF target that it is becoming embarrassing. I had my first Covid vaccination this week and, whilst putting on my coat and gathering my things together I even managed to insult the kind, charming, pleasant (and hunky) soldier who had given me the jab. What the hell was THAT all about?
There are few enough people that I communicate with at the best of times. With lock down that number has reduced still further, and almost all of that communication is electronic. The way things are going I can foresee a situation where that number hits the big zero as I drive more and more people away.
I guess, for the moment at least, it’s probably best if I limit the potential damage to those around me by giving up trying to communicate and just shut the f*** up.
I hope all of you are faring better in this regard.
Many of you may be aware that I help coordinate a local Transgender support and social group. It is something I’ve been doing for the past four years or more.
The group has received much praise for the work it does and is well respected within the local community.
Through 2019, and especially toward the latter end of it, I felt that I was running out of the energy and motivation needed in order to continue to work for the group. I expressed my need to back away to the other Coordinator and we began to look for other group members who could step up and take over some of the responsibilities involved.
It was a slow process, but help was forthcoming and I was able to sit back in a more minor role and just keep my finger on the pulse.
It’s as if a weight has been lifted, not just from my shoulders but from those of the world.
Over the past few weeks I’ve been working with a colleague, D, from another local LGBT+ organisation on revamping and expanding a Transgender Awareness training module that the co-coordinator of our Trans support group and I put together a couple of years ago. Well, I say “working on”; I guess what I really mean is “trying to work on”.
As with so many things I talk to people, make notes, think about ideas, make mental plans, but actually getting down to action? Well, that’s something else. That final motivation and inspiration is often lacking, a situation that is oh too common since my accident some thirteen years ago.
I started this week very much not able to function in any real sense, but then something changed. A light began to emerge from the darkness.
Wow, what a crap fest 2020 was, right up to the last day!
On New Year’s Eve I realised I wasn’t going to be able to suffer the pain any more over the upcoming long weekend, and so got an emergency appointment at the dentist and had two teeth removed. That doesn’t leave me with a vast selection any more.
Roll on 2021, I thought.
Welcome to 2021. Welcome to … A new lock down until at least the end of January! Wonderful!
I’ve been finding it hard lately to come up with something to blog about. Oh sure, there’s a whole rack of YouTube videos I have flagged and ready to roll, but knowing which is most important or what to say to lead into them has been somewhat holding me back.
Today that changed, and thanks to Beau for this insightful message to everyone. I’m not sure he really knows what a sea-change he may have started.
If you’re ever in need of assistance in a life threatening situation and are unable to speak clearly to the responder for fear of being found out then remember this story, and adapt it for your own country as appropriate.
For some time now I’ve been think about starting up a YouTube channel.
The problem I have is that I don’t feel that there’s enough I can offer to make it fully or even mainly about transgender issues or, for that matter, about any one particular subject. Which leaves me with a problem …
I was due for some new wigs, courtesy of the NHS, and went over to Edinburgh to make my selection. I picked out one in a similarish style to my usual ones but with a bit of a colour change, and have ordered three more in from which I’ll select another. I went over with a friend as she wanted to get a new wig and some professional advice and she came away with something that will look really good on her.
Also my friend had bought me a small gift as a thank you for being so helpful and supportive to her over the past few months, a lovely necklace that I’d seen in a shop window the week before and drooled over. When I got home and undid the parcel I was deeply touched by her sweet gesture. I’ll show you both the wig and the necklace in a future post.
It was later on Friday evening that things started to go wrong.
To quote a dear friend from their blog post last night …
“Turn OFF the political news feed, turn OFF the constant drone of social media. Turn OFF all broadcast news that does not immediately impact your health and welfare. And see what happens.
Take your energy and channel it into positive things. Being kind to a neighbor, call and check on a friend. Water your plants. Pet and play games with your animals. Be a positive force in your community. Get someone to laugh or smile. Do something fun no matter how stupid or foolish you think others may find it. Laugh at YOURSELF. Dare to be silly. Laugh OUT LOUD. If you begin to invest your time and energy this way you will soon begin to realize a compound-interest accruing everywhere else in your life. Because you are either going in the direction of life or you are moving away from it. As the saying goes – “Get busy living or get busy dying.” (from The Shawshank Redemption)”
And then again, there’s always music to soothe the soul.
And then again (again), there’s the “Deer Blooper” version …