I didn’t go to the Drop-In last Monday evening. I was on a downer and feeling really flat so at the last minute I ditched my plans and just stayed home.
Since yesterday I’m feeling much perkier again though, and so I muddled through my preparation routine and got myself “glammed up” to go. I had intended to drop in at Next on the way out of town to get a lovely pair of brown belted ponte boot cut trousers that I’ve had my eye on for a while. They look lovely on the rail, the material is really nice, and I think I can get a pair that will fit me. In my usual muddled way though I forgot about allowing for the rush hour traffic, and so as I set off I realised I wouldn’t have time today. Oh well …
Group was really good though. 🙂 Chatted a lot, especially with another T-girl, and tidied up plans to go along to the Women’s group get-together this Friday.
What pleased me the most though was the way I looked.
It’s been a long day and one that’s had its’ emotional ups and downs, but at the end of it I’m really feeling as if everything is coming together at last.
My real-life wifey, who is Chinese, left today for her annual visit back to see the family. I dipped out of the trip because at the time she was booking it we weren’t sure how the appointments and recovery from my varicose vein treatments would fit around the schedule. Although the treatments have been done I am still suffering quite badly with my legs, still have limited mobility, and often need my Tramadol even when I don’t go out anywhere. Plus, of course, I’ve been desperate to have some time on my own to let the inner me relax for a while. Wifey has tried to convince me to go with her on a couple of occasions and even today she rolled the dice one more time. Just before we left for the airport she telephoned her Mum to say she was just about to set off and then brought the phone to me, on speaker, so I could hear her Mum talking to me. None of the family in China know of my dysphoria, and wifey was translating what her Mum was saying … “Why can’t you come? … We miss you and want to see you”.
I have to admit that over the next few minutes I was welling up inside and had to subtly wipe away a tear or two.
When I got my first, incorrect, referral from my doctor last year part of the feedback I received included a suggestion that I should contact the LGBT Health and Wellbeing centre in Edinburgh.
At the time I was fairly angry about this because I knew that they would not be able to prescribe the hormones I was so desperately seeking, and I realised that I would actually need to “guide” my doctor through the required procedure, whatever that should be.
In time I was able to do that, but in this post I want to relate the ways in which I have found the centre to be such a help to me.