Tag Archive | self

Insulting behaviour

Just lately it seems as if I’m at war with an unknown entity; an elusive, pervading, mischievous spirit that seems hell bent on disrupting all forms of communication.

To put it in a nutshell, I seem unable to communicate with people without accidentally insulting them or causing them some form of upset. This usually happens when my intention is to make a joke or lighten a situation, but I’m so WAY OFF target that it is becoming embarrassing. I had my first Covid vaccination this week and, whilst putting on my coat and gathering my things together I even managed to insult the kind, charming, pleasant (and hunky) soldier who had given me the jab. What the hell was THAT all about?

There are few enough people that I communicate with at the best of times. With lock down that number has reduced still further, and almost all of that communication is electronic. The way things are going I can foresee a situation where that number hits the big zero as I drive more and more people away.

I guess, for the moment at least, it’s probably best if I limit the potential damage to those around me by giving up trying to communicate and just shut the f*** up.

I hope all of you are faring better in this regard.

This is turning into a full time job

Many of you may be aware that I help coordinate a local Transgender support and social group. It is something I’ve been doing for the past four years or more.

The group has received much praise for the work it does and is well respected within the local community.

Through 2019, and especially toward the latter end of it, I felt that I was running out of the energy and motivation needed in order to continue to work for the group. I expressed my need to back away to the other Coordinator and we began to look for other group members who could step up and take over some of the responsibilities involved.

It was a slow process, but help was forthcoming and I was able to sit back in a more minor role and just keep my finger on the pulse.

Then, of course, 2020 happened.

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I admit it, I cried

Ever since I had my “epiphany” and fully recognised the truth about myself I have wanted to be able to go out in public looking as female as that beatch “Mother Nature” will allow.

It’s been a long, hard road because I’m just over 6 feet tall, fairly sturdily built, have large ears, large hands, large feet and, most disappointingly, androgenetic alopecia a.k.a. Male Pattern Baldness. In my case this baldness is not complete (as in the whole of the top of my head is bald) but I have a deep bald “river” on each side and a central “patchiness” to my hair.

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Just can’t get into it

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh ….. *long drawn out sigh*

You know you get those days sometimes; those days where you look around and see so many things that need doing, but every time you ask your brain if it wants to get involved it gives you a big “NAH!! … Go away and leave me alone!!”. Well today is one of those days.

It happens to be my birthday too, although I don’t think there’s a connection.

67 years ago today I was probably kicking and screaming my way onto this planet, poor planet. But today it’s like all I can do is make another coffee, sit around waiting for the rerun of today’s F1 Grand Prix, and watch never-ending YouTube videos.

So here’s the one that sums today up perfectly. 😀

(R.I.P. Leonard Nimoy, and thank you for the memories)

 

Conflicting needs

How does one reconcile conflicting needs?

I’m in a quandary and can’t make up my mind which route to take.

As regular readers will know I’ve been helping to run my local Transgender Support Group for over 4 years now and said a couple of weeks ago that I’d had enough and would be stepping down. I’ve actually been trying to step away from running the group for over 18 months because I find the mental energy that’s required is more than I feel able to exert.

But …

Every time something comes along that the group could get involved with in order to spread the word about transgender issues or to advocate for the LGBT+ community, especially in my local area, it fires up my internal inspiration and I feel that this is something I need to be doing.

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Your experiences of Pride Marches – Research project

A student at St. Andrew’s University is currently conducting a research project exploring LGBT+ people and allies’ experiences of being involved in Pride parades.

For the project, she is conducting interviews via Skype and hopes to speak to as many people as she can from all across the UK, to make this study as representative as possible.

Unfortunately, she has not yet been able to interview many Trans people and so is concerned that their points of view may go unrepresented.

I’ve told her that I’ll be happy to participate, and if you would like to help out too then the details are in this poster along with her email address.

Any support would be greatly appreciated!

Pride Advert - NB62 - PS5002 - PNG

The “How do I die?” dilemma – no, I’m not thinking of THAT!

After the somewhat emotionally traumatic week I’ve had it’s been so helpful to have received a lot of reassurance and support from my readers and fellow bloggers. Thank you to all who have been in touch, it really means a lot.

I followed up on one comment I received by reading through that lady’s blog and came across something which has highlighted a dilemma I face.

What happens when I die?

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Time to say Goodbye

This is not an easy post for me to write and it may be a little disjointed.

For the past four years I’ve been one of the Coordinators of our local transgender support organisation, a position which has meant so much to me because of the good that has been achieved by the group and the help that we have been able to provide to so many people at various stages of their journeys of discovery and awareness.

Unfortunately, due to personal difficulties that I have, I realised about eighteen months ago that this work was becoming too much for me and I made it clear that I needed to step down and hand over to someone who would be able to cope better with the demands of the position. That change never happened, and then along came Covid-19.

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I wanna be …

I wanna be back in 1967.

I wanna be 5 years older than I was then.

I wanna be a cis-gendered hippy chick.

I wanna be in San Francisco.

I wanna be among the flower people.

I wanna be handing out flowers to strangers in the street.

I wanna be soaking up the colours and the vibrancy.

I wanna be high on the feeling of free love.

I wanna be …

I wanna be …

Oh, I SO wanna be where my soul truly belongs!! …