Tag Archive | trans female

Transgender Day of Remembrance


Today is a day where we are all asked to set aside some time for reflection. To think about those whose lives were taken purely because of who they were. Callously murdered simply for being themselves.

Over the years they have been many, but even one life extinguished out of irrational hatred is too many.

I’ll be going along to the Women’s Wellbeing Group: “Thank You” get-together, partly because it’s a group that I haven’t had the opportunity to attend before, but particularly on this occasion to join with them in showing solidarity and respect for those we have lost. We may never have known our lost comrades personally, but we walk a similar path, suffer similar emotions, similar stresses, and hold similar hopes and dreams that they once held.

Tonight’s meeting will be our very own version of Thanksgiving where we come together to share food, music, stories and experiences. There is also the option of taking along items for the local Food Bank, and I’ve put together a selection of things which are on their “most wanted” list.

Even if you don’t have a local group doing anything to mark this day I would ask you to try to find a few moments to take time out to reflect. Maybe light a candle at home, or in a church that you may pass during the day, and just remember that people the world over, not just transgender people, face hatred, persecution, violence and death due to the ignorance and irrational fears of others.

We need to stop hatred in this world, in all its’ forms. We need to learn to live together in peace and to accept that everyone is different, everyone is unique, and everyone has a right to be the person they are inside.

Let today be a day where we spread that message as a tribute to those who went before us and paid the ultimate price.

Thank you.

LGBT group Drop-In Night

I didn’t go to the Drop-In last Monday evening. I was on a downer and feeling really flat so at the last minute I ditched my plans and just stayed home.

Since yesterday I’m feeling much perkier again though, and so I muddled through my preparation routine and got myself “glammed up” to go. I had intended to drop in at Next on the way out of town to get a lovely pair of brown belted ponte boot cut trousers that I’ve had my eye on for a while. They look lovely on the rail, the material is really nice, and I think I can get a pair that will fit me. In my usual muddled way though I forgot about allowing for the rush hour traffic, and so as I set off I realised I wouldn’t have time today. Oh well …

Group was really good though. 🙂 Chatted a lot, especially with another T-girl, and tidied up plans to go along to the Women’s group get-together this Friday.

What pleased me the most though was the way I looked.

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Trans-parental nomenclature

It’s not something that’s relevant in my own life, but for those in families where one parent is transitioning I see problems as to how the transitioning parent should be addressed within a family where younger children are involved.

Ariadne over at Translucidity has posted about the experiences of her family, and it got me thinking on this.

Does our language need to come up with new nomenclatures for parents who transition?

Whilst that parent will probably always still be “Mum” or “Dad” to their children it is incongruous to refer to, say, a now female biological father as “Dad” all the time.

The first obvious solution would be to in some way intermix the standard, gender defining titles of Mum, Mom, Dad, Mother and Father, but this doesn’t work. One ends up with words like Mather, Fother or, worse still, Dum, Dom and Mad!

Ariadne’s family are working through this together in a sensible and caring manner and will no doubt settle on something appropriate for all of them with regard to how Lisa is addressed, but is that what happens in all such families? I don’t know.

So I’d be interested to hear of any Trans-Parental naming conventions that you feel might be appropriate as a generalised solution to this problem plus, of course, your own experiences of overcoming the issue within your own family situation as others may find this helpful.

The Beach Hut

20151110 Beach Hut
Coming down the stairs I then headed to the kitchen to put Mickey’s clothes into the wash, calling to Liam “I think he’ll sleep well tonight, he was playing in the garden most of the day.”

Liam was on the couch watching the game so after setting the washing going I poured myself a glass of wine, grabbed a couple more beers from the fridge and went in to join him.

“Ugh, down by 16 already?!” I remarked as I placed the beers on the coffee table in front of Liam. “Yeah”, he replied, “Including a safety and a TD interception. They need to make some changes in that team, and fast, or this season will over before half way.”

I settled down next to him on the couch and we snuggled up close, as we always do. The game barely improved and we were still 13 down at the half.

During half time we snuggled and kissed a little, and then Liam suddenly said, “You know, we could do with a break …what say we go down to the Cape one weekend soon? Take the little fella along to see where it all started, huh?”

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Red Carpet of Everyday Transgender Folk

So I was thinking …

Are you, or do you consider yourself to be, Transgender? … That’s me.

Ever been snapped by the paparazzi on the red carpet at some glitzy Hollywood event? … Nope, me neither.

Had thousands of pounds/dollars worth of cosmetic surgery? … Ha!

Do you have a team of make-up artists, hair stylists and costumiers at your beck and call? … Yeah, right! *pfft*

And I guess you don’t see your picture plastered all over the glossies either? … Thought not.

So your lifestyle, appearance or even gender don’t really live up to the general image of transgender people as portrayed by the media in images such as these? …

LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 22: Candis Cayne arrives at the 2009 American Music Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on November 22, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

Candis Cayne

LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 15: Honoree Caitlyn Jenner accepts the Arthur Ashe Courage Award onstage during The 2015 ESPYS at Microsoft Theater on July 15, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

Caitlyn Jenner

… Nope, nor me.
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21 Today !

No, not me! (Oh, how I wish I were)

This blog!

I started this little part of me that says “Here I am at last, the woman I was so afraid to share with even myself, never mind the big wide world” just two months ago, and today I registered my 21st follower!

Thank you all so very much for taking an interest, and for your caring and supportive comments. I truly appreciate that you’re all out there and I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it and reading your own blogs. 🙂

So today, my first full day of freedom at home … and the place looks like a tart’s parlour!

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Freedom !

It’s been a long day and one that’s had its’ emotional ups and downs, but at the end of it I’m really feeling as if everything is coming together at last.

My real-life wifey, who is Chinese, left today for her annual visit back to see the family. I dipped out of the trip because at the time she was booking it we weren’t sure how the appointments and recovery from my varicose vein treatments would fit around the schedule. Although the treatments have been done I am still suffering quite badly with my legs, still have limited mobility, and often need my Tramadol even when I don’t go out anywhere. Plus, of course, I’ve been desperate to have some time on my own to let the inner me relax for a while. Wifey has tried to convince me to go with her on a couple of occasions and even today she rolled the dice one more time. Just before we left for the airport she telephoned her Mum to say she was just about to set off and then brought the phone to me, on speaker, so I could hear her Mum talking to me. None of the family in China know of my dysphoria, and wifey was translating what her Mum was saying … “Why can’t you come? … We miss you and want to see you”.

I have to admit that over the next few minutes I was welling up inside and had to subtly wipe away a tear or two.

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Common sense and decency prevails in the case of Tara Hudson

Tara Hudson

You may be aware of the case of Tara Hudson, a transgender female who was sent to an all male prison in the UK last week.

Despite having lived as a woman for her whole adult life and having undergone substantial gender affirming surgery, Tara has not yet legally changed her gender from male to female.

The good news is that she has finally been moved to a female prison to serve out the rest of her sentence, but not before over 150,000 people, including myself, had signed up to an online petition supporting that move and her having suffered 23 hours a day confinement and substantial and traumatic verbal taunts from other inmates.

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